Time (Never Enough)

There are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, etc. These numbers haven't changed in a while, and yet it always seems like I never have enough time. Not enough time to write on this website, not enough time to redesign it, not enough time to clean my office, not enough time to get my projects done at work, not enough time... It's a poor excuse; I know that. Deep down, I'm even embarrassed by it. Of course there is enough time. The real problem is that there isn't enough willpower.

Willpower. Actually, now that I think about it, that's a pretty lame excuse too. If only I had control over my will, then I'd get more done. It's a cop out; if I'm sitting on the couch, my body hasn't won out over my mind. My mind has prioritized being a couch potato over the other options. I have enough willpower to get done the things that I want to get done, so I must see the rest as chores - tasks that I don't really want to do. So, is the real problem a lack of willpower? I don't think so.

The root of the problem might just be a lack of efficiency. Lately, I've fallen into some very inefficient traps. Not only at work, but at home as well. I find myself surfing the net aimlessly or playing some stupid online game. The flip side of efficiency, however, is stress. When I become more efficient, I forget to de-stress, and ... well ... things go boom. The key is to find a level of efficiency such that I don't get stressed and I actually get things done.

I would love to write more, but it's a daunting task. It's stressful for me, even though I like doing it. I'm such a perfectionist when it comes to stringing words together, and it takes me way too long to compose even a simple entry. Thinking logically, when it comes right down to it, I probably shouldn't add another stressful activity to my life.

Which leads me to wonder why I have this website to begin with. I think it's because I like the idea of writing, even if I don't have enough time to devote to the act of writing.

So, we'll see if I can add a little efficiency to my life without adding a lot of stress. We'll see if I can write more without going a little insane. We'll see if I can finally get around to my projects and make them into things I want to do instead of things I have to do. We'll see.

P.S. - This was written while riding the train this morning.

01.10.2008 10:54:22 PM ET